When I was a kid, I always smiled when a finger trap showed up in a birthday-party goody bag. The harder you pulled, the more stuck you became.
I guess I had so much fun with them I kept recreating them in my life.
For a long time, I responded to uncertainty by pulling harder. I’d stay busy, search for answers, and try to force my way forward. Time after time, I’d find myself in another finger trap, stuck while I pulled in different directions.
Learning to stop pulling against myself helped me rebuild my life.
I began channeling that energy into running and training. I shifted from wandering through life to living with greater focus and purpose. That change carried me from twenty jobs in fifteen years to one job that engaged my creative energy for the next fifteen.
In 2023, loss revealed a new finger trap.
This week marks three years since my father died. His death ended a 99-day stretch that began with the sudden death of my mother and included the loss of my stepmother, Trudy. That spring and summer changed me. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t run my way back to the life I had known.
I kept running anyway.
I wanted movement to provide clarity. I wanted to feel like myself again. I wanted to escape. And the more I struggled against what had changed, the more trapped I felt.
I’m learning that this finger trap is resistance—and acceptance is the key to its release.
Their deaths triggered an internal transition: living in the after.
That process takes time. It can’t be forced.
To me, acceptance doesn’t mean I like what happened or that I’ve given up. It means it’s okay to stop struggling long enough to glimpse the new reality.
From there, I can adapt. I can act on what’s possible now instead of exhausting myself trying to recover what’s gone.
Some chapters ask us to strive.
Others ask us to stop pulling.
The freedom I once found through movement now begins with accepting where I am, loosening my grip, and exploring the next chapter.
If any part of this feels familiar, I’d love to hear your story.
Just hit reply.
I read and respond to every message.
— Mark Wigginton
Midlife Guide | Next Chapter Navigator
📬 MarkW@FocusingOnResults.com
🌐 www.focusingonresults.com
🔗 Connect with me on LinkedIn
P.S. If this message resonated with you, it might speak to someone else too. Forward it to a friend who’s ready for their next chapter—you never know what kind of shift a few words of encouragement can spark.
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